I sit here on the couch beneath piles of books on Calvin, Covenant Theologies, Dispensationalism, and various assorted books on subjects that are too theological for my small brain to even begin to comprehend. I'm not reading these books (if I even ventured into that realm of understanding I would quickly run out as if the building was on fire).
I am sitting here though pondering how wonderful God' mercies and promises are. Constantly being reminded of how wonderful His love is for me and how beautifully it encompasses my very being.
"Not one word has failed of all the good promises He gave"
1 Kings 8:56
Tonight I went through my Bible, reading all the different notes and papers that were nestled inside of it. A few things caught my eye...things that I wrote down right after Shannon died, things that I was clinging to with all my life in hopes of understanding the depth of God's Love for me and His purpose in everything that happened.
I remember sitting down and writing on a piece of paper "What is God calling you to do? Is He asking you to lay your dreams on the altar? Is he asking you to throw your dreams in the trash?" This thought had consumed me for a long time as I thought about the fact that in being a widow, I not only lost my husband but the children I did not have. And in being obedient, I had to lay my dreams on the altar. Flipping through the paper once more I came across this note :
"5/3/2008
Claiming the Promises of Ruth
-Childless, Widow, Moved to a new land
Met her husband and together they began a family that was the predecessor for something amazing."
That was a turning point for me, a place where God gently held me in His hands and reminded me that my time was coming. And while hope fades in and out for me, His promises stay pure, stay true. He never waives in His mercy and love for us. He never fails. He never forgets.
Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. Psalm 126:5
Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:9
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
I am reminded ever so gently and constantly that a) God has a purpose for my life b) God is the restorer and sustainer of my joy and c) God's promises stand true. Just a random blog to voice how much I am in love with God lately.
2 comments:
It sounds like you are in an awesome place of hope!
I enjoyed reading your scriptures and the reminder about Ruth... Good stuff.
I am working on a comprehensive listing of widow/er blogs and have just added yours to the list. Please feel free to e-mail me if you know of other blogs that should be listed, or if you do not wish to be listed, at splitsecondsinglefather@yahoo.com. It is so hard to find these blogs through regular web searches, and I would like to help change that. At least for now, there will be a growing, categorized list in at least one place. Thanks for helping others who are on a similar journey. Best regards, 3SF
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